Senior Citizens

2006-01-24 · 1518 阅读

An exchange between a senior citizen and his eighty-year-old buddy: > >"So I hear you're getting Married?" > >"Yep!" > >"Do I know her?" > >"Nope!" > >"This woman, is she good looking?" > >"Not really." > >"Is she a good cook?" > >"Naw, she can't cook too well." > >"Does she have lots of money?" > >"Nope! Poor as a church mouse." > >"Well then, is she good in bed?" > >"I don't know." > >"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?" > >"Because she can still drive!" > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >Three old guys are out walking. > >First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" > >Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" > >Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. > >It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. > >It's perfect." > >"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?" > >"Twelve thirty." > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. > >A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with >a smile on his face and a gorgeous young woman on his arm. > >A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're >really doing great, aren't you?" > >Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and >be cheerful.'" > >The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart >murmur. Be careful.'" > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and >pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching >his breath he ordered a banana split. > >The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" > >"No," he replied, "arthritis."

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雅思/托福